September 23rd, 2011
Have you read all of these posts? Have you found them useful, interesting and possibly even a little entertaining?
Would you like to continue to read quirky items, just like these, about personal development hints, tips and strategies that you can apply in YOUR life?
If the answer is yes then I invite you to click on the link below and sign up for my weekly personal development newsletter.
That`s it. Plain and simple. No fancy, overvalued offers to tempt you to sign up. No overblown promises about what I can/will do for you. What I am doing however is offering a limited number of reduced rate e-mail life coaching sessions to my subscribers as a thank you for signing up. This will. I feel, be far more useful for a longer period than something that may well not even be opened or read once it`s been downloaded and therefore be of greater genuine value than a conventional download offer. These reduced rate sessions will be subsidised by my other activities and, as such, are a serious commitment by me to my subscribers.
All I`m looking for, all I want as readers, are people who are genuinely interested in `life and living` or in changing something in their life whether that`s something large or small. I feel that the offer of reduced rate e-mail life coaching will be far more useful that a `sign-up bribe`. I`m not interested in people who simply grab what`s on offer, flit from one New Age idea to another without really taking any personal responsibilty for their situation. I don`t, and won`t, see eye2eye with them thank you very much.
You see, I don`t consider myself to be a `guru` and I`m actually not very pc literate. I`m just a life coach who likes people and who has a particulat approach to life. You could say I`m a minnow in a pool of whales but even minnows have friends.
IF you like what you`ve read and IF you`d like to continue following my quirky thoughts on personal development then please do sign up for my newsletter, I`d be honoured to have you as a reader and a fellow traveller. Just click on the link below and we`ll start the journey.
Yes please, I see eye2eye with you and I would like to sign up for your newsletter.
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February 11th, 2011
There are at least four simple ways that you can virtually force people to like you (or at least be more agreeable towards you) with very little effort from you and we`ll look at them now.
A – Apologise before asking someone to do something for you that`s a little out of the ordinary. Starting a request for either a service or for information with the sentence `I realise that you`re very busy and I don`t like to bother you but could you tell me ……. OR am I too late to arrange……….`
By putting yourself in the other person`s shoes and realising that you might be asking for something out of the ordinary and APOLOGISING beforehand will usually take the wind out of the sails of a potentially challenging request. You would have to be very mean spirited to not respond to a request phrased in such an understanding and polite manner.
B – Always, but always make direct eye contact with the person you are speaking to and maintain it. Don`t just look them in the eye during the first few words and then go all shifty on them. MAKE the other person feel that you are talking TO them rather than simply at them. It boils down again to the natural human need to feel that we are recognised as individuals.
C – Whenever you thank someone for doing something for you say it as though you mean it. Don`t trot it out as if it`s a habit like saying `have a nice day`. As well as sounding as if you mean it also say WHY you are thanking them such as `thanks for helping me with my luggage, I have a bad back and that`s made life so much easier.` Explaining why you are thanking someone makes them realise that they HAVE actually helped you and that what they did actually WAS important to you.
D – As well as making eye contact when you are speaking to someone SMILE at them as well. Not just a quick flash of your pearly whites, like a shark but a slow, wide and genuine smile. If a smile is faked it makes you look just like a conman, a shark, someone to be wary of. If you smile as if you mean it then it comes across as genuine and encourages people to be genuine in return.
Another tip about smiling is to smile even when you`re talking on the phone.
Smiling as you speak genuinely alters the tone of your voice and makes it sound warmer. Try talking through gritted teeth and you`ll see what I mean. Use these simple techniques and I`m sure that you`ll notice a difference in how other people respond to you.
If you still worry about what other people think about you and are looking to find a way to improve your self confidence you could do with having a look at this course by a guy called Jay Chase. He can explain things far better than I can so just click on this link and have a read;
http://tinyurl.com/45cf5sb
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February 9th, 2011
I`ve just returned from holiday refreshed. Well I’m refreshed in mind at least, if not in body. My legs are still aching somewhat from the amount of hill walking that I did but the old grey matter is working fine.
Whilst I was away I experienced something that inspired today`s post.
We were having dinner in the hotel restaurant when a party of four guests arrived at a table nearby. When the waitress came to take their orders the guests were quite unpleasant with the her, treating her as if she was inferior in some way, as if she was a medieval servant.
Now these guests weren’t too young to know any different nor did they appear to be uneducated in the common civilities of life.
They just seemed to genuinely think that it was beneath them to be at least polite to the waitress. Now I fully understand that the guests didn`t visit the hotel restaurant simply to make friends with the staff but their attitude was completely unwarranted and I couldn`t help wondering how they would have reacted if the situation had been reversed.
The waitress handled their bad manners very well and went on to provide the same level of service even though it was obvious that she objected to their behaviour which I think reflected well on her. The episode illustrated to me a simple fact of life which is that most of us like to be liked, whatever our situation in life, and it was that thought which inspired this post.
As I say, without being sycophantic, we all like to be liked.
Although the waitress handled the guest`s bad behaviour very well how much more pleasant could the diner`s experience have been if there had been at least a degree of mutual respect and understanding between the waitress and the guests?
We all have a job to do and we all have to interact with others.
Recognising that someone is, hopefully, doing their best to help us and showing that we understand and appreciate their efforts should not be too much trouble and would make life much more pleasant.
A question arises from this though and that is `can we do anything to MAKE people like us a little more?` Can we influence THEIR behaviour towards us? The answer is yes we can. There are things that we can do which will almost subconsciously force people to behave better towards us, or at least to consider us in a different light and that`s what we are going to look at.
The best way to make people like you is via their own ego. Make someone feel as though they are special to you and they will usually reciprocate. I`m not saying that you have to be false and pretend that you`ve fallen in love with them, I`m not that crass.
What I am saying could simply be boiled down to treating others as you would like to be treated yourself. There are at least four ways that you can do this with little effort and we`ll look at them in my next post.
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February 2nd, 2011
Well, I hope that you`ve given some thought to the last couple of week`s posts because this time you and I are going to start building on the foundations that you`ve already decided to put in place. We are going to do this with the help of a word from the Wilde, Oscar Wilde that is.
Many years ago Oscar Wilde said “The aim of life is self development. To realise one`s nature perfectly – THAT is what each of us is here for”. I couldn`t agree more which is why I started this website, to work with people like you who want to realise their potential and to change their situation.
You now need to start building on the work that you`ve done from the other week when you began embedding the phrase `It`s MY life, only I can change it. I CAN DO THIS` into your sub-conscious.
Today we are going to build on it by considering the first of four requirements for change, REALISING that change may be needed.
I can almost hear you saying `that`s ridiculous, it`s obvious that I need to change something`. On the surface I would agree with you but you must look deeper to seek out the REAL, often unconscious reason(s) why change may be necessary. THAT is what I mean by REALISING that change is needed.
There are very few people who can say sincerely that they love every minute of every working day. That they wouldn`t change a thing.
There are many surveys about working life in the Western world showing that workers are un-fulfilled or miserable at work.
Are YOU miserable at work? Ask yourself these questions, you may recognise them because they`ve been annoying you at the back of your mind but perhaps not in this direct way;
ARE YOU; lacking direction, self-confidence or purpose in your life?
WANTING to change career. To start your own business but held back by fears of `failure` or because you are unsure in which direction to go?
FEELING that you are only going through the motions and just drifting?
UNHAPPY with your appearance, want to stop smoking or lose weight?
IS a lack of support from friends, family or colleagues holding you back?
Everyone has an `off` day but if you regularly experience one or more of the emotions described above then this is a good indication that your sub-conscious is trying to tell you something. Making you REALISE that something needs to change.
Once you TRULY realise that something in your life is amiss you should ask yourself the following questions.
1) Draw up a list of five things or situations that you put up with at home but which annoy you.
2) Do the same for your job.
3) Everything has a flip side, a pay off which on the surface makes a situation tolerable. Do you understand YOUR flip side? For example, staying in a dead-end job might be sub-consciously protecting you from a fear of ridicule or failure if you change jobs and it doesn`t work out. How COULD you face people if it didn`t work out?
4) Understand what the mental cost will be if you DON`T do something about it, how will it affect you in the long run?
When you have completed the list, thought things through and fully understand the consequences you MUST take action. Now prioritise.
Decide which item on your toleration list causes the most difficulty and DO something about it. Make a start on the rest of your life and eliminate it. JUST DO IT.
That`s it for now, enough brain ache for one session I think.
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January 27th, 2011
A) Are you a farmer OR an old time gold prospector?
B) How does a mouse eat an elephant?
You may think that these are strange questions to ask in a personal development context but bear with me and you`ll see where we are going with this.
Imagine if you will a farmer behind a horse drawn plough gradually working his way up and down a field. He`s ploughing straight furrows to plant the seeds of a successful harvest.
Up and down the field, no great rush to the job, working steadily but with purpose at the horse`s pace. The two of them working as a team.
At the end of each day, month and season he slowly builds on the foundations of what he has done previously. The ploughing is followed by the sowing. Next he tends the crop as it matures, protecting it now and then by weeding out harmful weeds that have sneaked into the prepared ground.
Eventually, when the time is right, the crop is harvested for the benefit of the farmer, his family and of course the horse. All of this is predictable. The farmer KNOWS that he cannot rushthe process without affecting the result that he wants, the harvest. He also knows what the outcome WILL be, BEFORE HE STARTS THE WHOLE PROCESS, providing that he applies the system consistently in the same way. He knows that if he DOES this he WILL get that.
An old style Yukon gold prospector is always convinced that the very next drill hole or exploration shaft that he investigates will be the `big one`, the paydirt that means he will never have to work again. Just like many people in their day to day lives now.
When a borehole or shaft doesn`t come up with the goods he quickly becomes disillusioned. He doesn`t have the patience or the staying power for the longer haul. He moves on to the next big thing, the next location that promises to be the pot of gold at the end of his rainbow. He does this whatever his previous experiences of dabbling in this and that has told him.
Which of these two characters do you think is likely to have a more stable and rewarding life, a more successful life?
Which of these two personalities are you most like? The one who, step by step lays the foundations, the building blocks of their success and then and ONLY then begins to grow knowing that what they build will be secure and solid?
OR the person who has no patience and no staying power. The one who listens to every piece of second-hand, `sure fire` information but then ends up with nothing of real and tangible value? This person may have the occasional good time along the way with one or two small successes but who, really, wants a life like that? Do you?
I accept that someone has to win the lottery and that some people hit paydirt but what a tiny percentage these people represent when compared to the number of successful individuals who take the longer route and begin with firm foundations.
Personal development is very much like the farmer who laid solid, real foundations before building his future. YOU are the farmer, the bricklayer of YOUR future.
Last time I asked WHO are you. This time I asked you to consider WHAT are you, a farmer or a gold prospector?
Next time we will be returning to our WHO theme but will be taking a`walk on the WILDE side`. Yes, Yes, I know I`ve spelt it `wrong` but wait and see.
See you soon.
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January 25th, 2011
If I were a pc geek (no offence to geeks) or even slightly competentwith a keyboard I would have overlaid the above title with The Who`s terrific track `Who Are You?` because it indirectly asks the fundamental question of just WHO are you?
Until you, the reader tells or asks me otherwise I want to start this series of posts with some basics of personal development so that we genuinely begin to see, eye 2 eye as it were, what we both want to achieve.
WHO you are in yourself affects every aspect of how you live your life. It is SO important that I will return to this broad themeseveral times in future. For the moment however I want you to consider some simple but important questions about yourself.
I am assuming that you visited this site because you want to change some aspect of your life or situation but are perhaps unsure where and how to begin. This is quite a common challenge. If you don`t know what you want to change how can you change it?
Achieving genuine, long term change requires not only determination but an understanding of the structure, the framework if you like that you are trying to change. In other words WHO you are, your motives, personality, ambitions and WHY you think the way that you do.
Once you have a better understanding of what makes you tick then, and only then can you make lasting changes.
Some say, and there is an element of truth in it, that we are a product of our environment. If you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth then you will have a life of luxury. If you were brought up in a ghetto then you will always live in poverty. Generalisations like this always have a grain of truth in them but they are NOT set in stone and there are plenty of examples proving the theory wrong.
On the other hand, and I make no excuses for saying this time after time in these posts, I firmly believe that we can all DO and BE more than we are now IF we truly want to. You just have to want it enough to achieve it. First of all though you have to know what `IT` is and IT stems from WHO you are.
Family, education and even nationality dictates and provides the basic building blocks of identity. Unless you have been brainwashed by the system we begin to develop as individuals as we mature and maturity opens the window for change. If change is what you are looking for of course. Bringing about positive, lasting change depends upon four elements;
1) REALISING that you want (or indeed neeed) change.
2) KNOWING where you want that change to take you.
3) Having the DETERMINATION to see the changes through, perhaps in the face of opposition from friends, family or colleagues who don`t want to `lose` the person they were comfortable with. That`s their problem by the way, NOT yours.
4) Having the CONFIDENCE to carry through the changes.
To close this post I want you to start taking action right now. I want you to start repeating the following phrase as often as possible until it embeds itself in your sub-conscious.
“It`s MY life. Only I can change it. I CAN DO THIS”
When you have embedded it in your sub-conscious then you will start to notice a difference in your approach to life.
If you take nothing else away from this post take that and just DO IT.
In my next post I`ll be asking you these curious questions;
Are you are a gold prospector or a farmer and do you know how a mouse eats an elephant?
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January 19th, 2011
Hello and welcome to the eye2eye personal development website, it`s great to have you as a reader.
Correct me if I`m wrong but I assume that you are reading this because you have an interest in changing something in your life. If this is so congratulations on taking action to make a change.
I am passionate about the benefits of personal development.
Whatever background someone comes from I firmly believe that everyone has a responsibility for their own situation. They should not rely on `someone` or `the government` to improve their lot in life.
I developed the idea of a personal development website because I am on a crusade to bring broad, easily applied life coaching and self development techniques to you, the reader. Techniques that are readily available IF you know where to find them.
It is my intention to seek out these methods and bring them to you for FREE. I will also review a variety of self-development publications and courses and provide links to them for those readers wishing to take further steps to improve their situation.
Not everyone wants or needs coaching on a one-to-one basis, they just need pointing in the right direction. That`s where this website comes in. You will read hints and tips on approaching life from a different perspective that are presented, hopefully. in a light-hearted fashion. We can be serious without being SERIOUS.
I won`t patronise you or talk down to you but I will treat you as an adult who has the courage to consider something different and who is prepared to work hard to achieve their goal. I may annoy you at times. I may make you laugh, perhaps at yourself. Laugh or annoy, I don`t mind which because it means that at least you`re thinking about what we discuss and that`s all that counts.
There will be no frills or fancy language just straightforward descriptions of ways to move YOUR life forward and it won`t cost you a dime, penny or pesos except the time to put the changes that YOU want to make into effect. I can give you the tools but you have to do SOME work!!!
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